There are so many great slogans and words of wisdom that I have heard in OA meetings and literature. But the most meaningful one to me is the simplest: “Keep Coming Back.” I recall my first meeting, feeling extremely uncomfortable and anxious to leave. But before I could make my great escape I had to hold hands with complete strangers, pray unfamiliar words and then cheer “Keep coming back! It works if you work it, and you’re worth it!” followed by applause and hugs. Gross.
My eyes were rolling so far back in my head that the whites were fully exposed. It’s so cheery. It’s so positive. It’s so upbeat. Once again - ugh, gross! I found it annoying and felt resistance raise the little hairs on the back of my neck. “You are not the boss of me!” my internal voice cried. “I don’t have to keep coming back if I don’t want to. I am in charge!”
But as I’m sure each of us can relate, I most certainly was NOT in charge and deep down I knew it. So, despite my rebellious outcries, I followed the suggestion. I kept coming back. Even if I wasn’t always “working it”, I kept coming back. And every time I did I learned a little more about myself, either through literature or shares of fellows or (surprisingly), from myself, during writing meetings. I was often shocked with the attitudes and emotions that were revealed in a few minutes of writing.
“Keep Coming Back” has evolved from a cheesy slogan to a hopeful rally cry to a personal promise between myself and HP. For me this program is awesome and terrible, terrifying and liberating, peaceful and uncomfortable. But through it all, I keep coming back. Keep coming back. Keep coming back...
-M.R.
