While each of the steps has a related spiritual principle, in my experience, I have to work many principles throughout the entire process. Honest, humility and surrender are needed as I work every one of the twelve steps. Surrender has been one of the strongest principles in my time in recovery.
I have a two part journey having left OA for about ten years, losing both my abstinence and a healthy body weight. The first time around, "I surrender" was a mantra. I needed it in the restroom at a new job or when getting ready to eat a meal with family and especially in the morning with the 3rd Step prayer. Doing the steps required a huge surrender of what I thought I knew about food, my life and myself. Surrendering in Steps 1 and 2 were necessary to stay and to keep going. Then, I surrendered by taking a leap, saying the 3rd step prayer with a sponsor. Writing and sharing my 4th step was a surrender of my lack of trust. But, in Step 6, I truly understood surrender.
I had just read a thorough inventory and felt like crap. I had no idea who I was anymore. What happened to my defects and false beliefs about my family, my ideas about how the world worked that ended up being rooted in fear, pride and ego? I had no ground beneath my feet and did not know where the road would lead me.
In part 2 of my journey, I surrendered once again. The 3rd Step prayer became my reality. I walked into unknown territory and allowed a Power Greater than Myself to take over, to lead and I was rewarded with peace with eating behaviors and a real serenity in my days.
Now, I continue to surrender daily, sometimes at each meal and especially after dinner. I surrender when I pray and meditate or write a Step 10. People do not recover as fast as I would like sometimes or they make choices that are not within my control, so I surrender when working with others: Step 12. I may never get back those ten years out of program but I am grateful the surrender is still available to me today.
KA
