Twelfth Step Within: Fun and Fellowship

Many of us think of the 12^th Step as reaching out to those outside of our fellowship who may need or want the OA way of life. That is certainly an accurate and important way to approach this step. The idea behind the 12^th Step Within is that there are many within our fellowship that need outreach as well. That outreach can come in many forms.

All I Needed Was Just Enough Faith

When I think about faith, I think about the difference in my life just three years ago. My faith was dried up, cracked to the touch. I believed in things that were killing me.

I’d quit believing that having faith in something greater could lastingly do anything for me. I also believed I had a right to feel this way because of the struggles and horrors I’d witnessed throughout my life. Back then, the ongoing hell around me had me tangled as I spent most of my days for several years with my son in a children’s cancer hospital. Eventually, I completely surrendered my faith and my life to substances that offered me relief for just brief seconds.

Some Thoughts About Faith

F is for - Fear which is not compatible with faith.
A is for - Acceptance. Perhaps faith begins with acceptance.
I is for - I, me, mine which are replaced, because of faith, with a power greater than myself.
T is for - The Third Step whose principle is faith.
H is for - Happiness. Happiness like faith is an inside job.

Since March is the 3^rd month of the year, I am focusing on the 3^rd step and its principle: faith. I’m writing about the 3^rd step as I read the OA 12 & 12, which I have read many times before. My sponsor suggested that reading something familiar with a new understanding is an example of “setting aside” what I know. I will then be available to learn something new. And, to my surprise, I am learning new things. For me, this might also be an example of a spiritual experience.

The World Isn’t Ending, I Am Just Hungry

When I was deep into the disease of compulsive overeating, I rarely felt physical hunger. Since I was eating in excess all the time I never gave my body the chance to be hungry. On the rare occasion that I did feel physical hunger— things got ugly quickly. That uncomfortable gurgling in my belly triggered panic in my head that the world was ending. As the hunger pangs worsened I became irritable, moody and discontent. I could count on this without fail. Physical hunger ruled me. 

A sponsor suggested a solution that worked like gangbusters. Always keep small snacks on hand so you never get too hungry. This was a revelation to me— one, that another compulsive overeater felt the same way and two, that it was okay to plan for this and see that my needs were met. Mind blown. From then on I kept a small packet of almonds or protein bar in my glove compartment and my purse at all times. 

This solution worked for me for years and I thought it was the best I could hope for. But, today after 22 months of abstinence, working the steps, taking direction and relying on my Higher Power, I don’t need to keep those snacks waiting in the wings as insurance against physical discomfort. For the first time in my life, I can sit with those feelings and know I’ll be alright. When I feel the pangs, I pause and ask my higher power to remove them. Those feelings eventually go away. I am not terrified of being hungry today because I have a HP that works, if I just remember to ask. 

                                                                                                                                                                    -Anonymous