ADVANTAGES OF ABSTINENCE

• I don’t have to plan future binges and nervously await them.
• I save money on food, and I eat healthfully.
• I don’t have to worry about gaining weight from a binge and having to lose it again.
• My relationship to food becomes balanced.
• I don’t have to dread the consequences of a binge. Instead I can touch them lightly before a binge starts and then let them go.  
• I feel closer to God and to other people.
• My heart becomes more open and tender.
• I don’t have to lie about my food.
• I don’t have to climb back out of oblivion after the binge.
• I learn I can be with my emotions and outlive their grasp. Each time I do that strengthens me to deal effectively with future strong and difficult emotions.
• I gain self-confidence and self-respect in all areas of my life.
• I don’t have to hide how I purchase food and eat it.  
• I have much more access to my feelings of gratitude.
• I like myself more.
• I appreciate my body more. I feel that its size and shape are just as they should be at this moment. I can work sanely with its inevitable changes.  
• I enjoy nature, creative arts and other people much more.
• I feel happy, joyous and free.  

Feeling Alone

I don’t talk about this to anyone. I am feeling so alone lately. I know I am not alone. My God is always with me. I know I have guardian angels, most likely those dear ones of mine who have crossed over already but who still carry affections for me as I do for them.

This aloneness is just a feeling, a disquiet that runs under the ordinary activities of my days like an underground river. It is full of shadows and remembrances that have not surfaced in a long time.

I consider the uncovered memories. Are they appearing because they have a purpose?  Is there an amends I need to make? Have I seen growth since that long ago time?

I ask God “What am I to learn from this?” I wait in silence for the answer. I want to add, “Please help me learn what I am to learn quickly so I can hurry and get over this feeling!”

But time is a human trait, and I must be still and allow the Great Potter to mould me for I am the clay.

I look back on my life. I’ve always been impatient. Have I come along at all in developing more patience?

It doesn’t matter. I strive as I can and trust my powerful God to do the rest.

In gratitude,

e.k.

My Own House In Order

The answers will come if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got.
-A Vision For You, p. 164 Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

My "own house in order" is very different than "ducks in a row" which is the way I needed everything to be before Program. If my ducks were in a row, I would look okay to others, no matter how crazy I actually was or felt I was inside. 

Getting my house in order is an inside job. And, for me today, that requires a tight relationship with a Higher Power as well as working the Steps with other recovering compulsive overeaters. And the answers do come -

usually without too much effort (or thought) on my part because all that thinking about looking good and all the effort I put into appearing "normal" just made me crazier and fatter, quite frankly.                                                        (continued)

First Things First!

[Written by an OA member at a writing meeting]

I am grateful for those who have reminded me of today's meeting while searching for volunteers to participate. I was actually going to skip the meeting in order to help a friend on my day's agenda. Then, God "bonked" me on the head. First Things First! 

Experience, Strength and Hope Today: The Set Aside Prayer

I first heard about this prayer from a fellow in another 12 Step program. He told a story of how my husband, many years ago, shared a prayer with him.  My husband was fresh out of prison and with racially segregated ways, from both of them, this man typically would not have been a friend.  With recovery, our hearts and minds open to new experiences and people and so they became friends.  That was 21 years ago.  The prayer my husband shared is this:

“God, please help me set aside everything I think I know about myself, my addiction, the steps, the fellowship, and especially you; for an open mind and a new experience with myself, my addiction, the steps, the fellowship, and especially You. Amen.”

12 STEP WITHIN: Working our program and assisting others in the age of COVID-19

A message from our Intergroup Chair

Hello Everyone,

Proscribed from gathering for one or more reasons, we battle with loneliness and isolation. Rather than help, social media and the news seem to only add to our distress. Many of us, myself included, would prefer to stay in bed, under the covers, with a pillow protecting our head rather than walk through what this year has to offer.  However, these days require that we get up, suit up, and move through. As 12-Step people, we are called to work with others as a way of helping ourselves.

Keep Coming Back

There are so many great slogans and words of wisdom that I have heard in OA meetings and literature.  But the most meaningful one to me is the simplest: “Keep Coming Back.”  I recall my first meeting, feeling extremely uncomfortable and anxious to leave.  But before I could make my great escape I had to hold hands with complete strangers, pray unfamiliar words and then cheer “Keep coming back! It works if you work it, and you’re worth it!” followed by applause and hugs.  Gross.